


Unrepentant Hearts

by Crescentmoonmadness



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: 2x06 continuation, Angst, F/M, Reconciliation, Self-Harm, in which the getting back together of bughead isn't trivialized
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 22:39:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13350984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crescentmoonmadness/pseuds/Crescentmoonmadness
Summary: Betty tries to keep everyone safe from the Black Hood. All she has to do is stay away from Jughead and isolate herself. That should be easy enough, shouldn't it?





	Unrepentant Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this rewrite of the first Bughead breakup for a month now and it's finally time to give it to the internet. This is my first time writing anything since Glee was a thing, and I'm so excited to be back!

Betty sat at her desk in the Blue and Gold office, papers littering the wood in front of her. She thought about the Black Hood’s last request. 

_The son of the Serpent. Cut him out. Or I will._

The words replayed in her mind over and over again. Serpents. Southsiders. The Black Hood. Northsiders. And where did she land? Someone in the middle. A former Southsider for a mother raised on the Northside behind a white picket fence and the guise of a perfect, suburban family. A masked murderer haunting her every thought. A young man, once an outcast on the Northside, finding his place on the wrong side of the tracks. 

A boy with a crown beanie and black hair like the night. A boy that Betty had found herself falling for so fast that not even she could catch her fall. A whirlwind romance, bonded through solving a murder, cemented in their faith that they could overcome anything. 

Betty ran her fingers absently over the papers scattered across her desk. Looking, but not truly seeing. Her thoughts raced each other around her kind, trying to catch up to one another. The gentle squeak of the door made her look up, heart racing in a futile hope that it might be the one person she wanted to see. 

Her eyes registered the shock of red hair first and she settled back into her seat that she had unwittingly half-risen from. Her eyes cast back down to the desk, knowing immediately why the boy was here with her. 

“What the hell was that last night?” 

She refused to look at her, refused to let him see the redness of her eyes or the fresh glisten of new tears. He didn't wait too long to start speaking again. 

“Betty?” This time Betty looked up at him, taking in his indignant appearance. After her performance last night she had hoped that he would be done with her as well, had hoped that by cutting out Veronica she would be inadvertently saving Archie from becoming a target. Of course, she would have no such luck. All she saw was her best friend since childhood, looking disappointed, but still wanting answers from her. 

“I lied to you.” She cut her eyes up to meet Archie’s, jaw set in preparation for her next words. If Archie was surprised by her words he didn't show it, so she continued on. “When you asked me if the Black Hood called again, he did.” It was here that Archie finally showed emotion. Betty watched as his mouth slightly opened, whether it be in shock or horror, she couldn't be sure. She let out a small sigh that seemed to come from her very essence. 

“And he told me to cut Veronica out of my life or he...” she paused as Archie closed his eyes at her words. She hoped that he would understand. She knew that he had the same need to keep those he loved safe, which was why she continued on, hoping that he would understand her next words. 

“And now he wants me to do the same with Jug.” Betty's voice tightening at the words, the name on her lips come out as just a whisper, her eyes again filling with tears. 

“Betty, why didn't you tell me?” Archie’s eyes on her held such betrayal at her lie and she knew that she had broken his trust, not completely, but enough. His words, however, spurred on her own indignant answer. 

“Because I knew you'd try to talk me out of it.” As soon as the words left her mouth she knew they were true. Archie would have tried to save the day, figure out some way to save the infamous friendship of B and V and still somehow appease the Black Hood, but Betty knew better. 

“You're right,” Betty's insides turned at the look on Archie's face. The look of disbelief, disappointment. “It's my mistake.” He turned away, pulling out his cell phone and angrily pushing buttons and he walked away from her. 

Betty didn't even pause to think. She hopped up, pushing her chair backward in her haste. She rushed to him, grabbing his arm. 

“Archie, put the phone...” digging her nails in a little when he didn't listen and repeated, “put the phone down!” Maybe it was the desperation in the voice, or maybe it was the shock of slight pain that ran up Archie's arm, but he lowered his phone and looked down to Betty's eyes. 

“Listen to me,” she continued when she knew she had the boys attention again. “He hasn't attacked or killed anyone since we started talking.” She brought a hand to her face, roughly rubbing away the tears resting on her cheek. 

“I think this is distracting him.” Archie shook his head swiftly, the fire in his eyes heating up. 

“Betty, he's torturing you.” He took a step closer to her. “Making you hurt your mom, Veronica, and now Jughead? How are you going to put him, and yourself, through that?” She could see the questioning in his eyes, but her resolve had never been stronger. She knew what she had to do. She just hoped that he could be as strong. 

She turned away from him slightly, wiping tears again from her eyes. They just wouldn't stop falling. Her arms encompassed herself, holding in the agony of her next decision. 

“I was hoping maybe you would do it.” 

The words hung in the air for a moment, and she didn't need to see Archie’s face to know that he would be wearing an expression of muted horror. 

“What?” the redhead questioned in a deadpan voice. God, if she could just convince him to do this for her, she could maybe get through this. She knew she wouldn't be able to break it off with Jughead herself. She needed Archie to do this. 

“Maybe you could just tell him something that would make him stay away for awhile. Something, anything to keep him away. To appease the Black Hood.” She started crying harder at this, tears leaking rapidly down to her chin where they drip, dripped on her pink sweater. 

Archie sighed, beginning to shake his head no, almost violently as he earnestly tried to reject what Betty was asking of him. A large hand came up to pull itself across his forehead, his reluctance glaringly obvious. 

Betty pushed on. “It doesn’t have to be cruel, Arch. Just enough to make Jug believe it.” She took a deep breath in, trying to calm the sobs that were trying to wrack at her ribcage. “We can walk it back later.” 

“You mean you hope you can,” the boy almost spit the words out. Not out of anger at her request, but more so in astonishment that she was willing to go to such lengths to protect those around her. 

“No.” The word came out clear, her resolve definite. “We can. And we will.” 

Archie's eyes softened just slightly and Betty knew that she almost had him. She drove the final nail into the coffin. 

“Please, Arch. Don't quit on me now.” He didn't say anything, but she knew he would do as she asked. He just nodded his head ever so slightly and Betty breathed out a sigh of relief. 

This was one thing that she knew she couldn't do on her own. 

 

//

 

The text came later that day. She was sitting at home, head resting against the window as she watched the sun slowly go down. 

_It’s done._

Betty's brow furrowed at the brevity of the text. She had expected a little more detail from her friend. 

_How did he take it?_

The reply was almost instant.

_Not so great Betty…_

She watched as the three little dots floated underneath the message, indicating that Archie was typing more. She waited for his reply, and nearly dropped her phone when she got it. 

_He’s joining the Serpents, Betty. When I showed up he was headed to his final initiation. I told him you wanted a break and then I left. The rest of that Southside trash showed up and I bailed._

Betty slammed her phone down on the cushion beside her, clenching her hands into smalls fists until she felt her nails pierce through the tender skin of her palm. She could feel the sticky warmth of blood pooling underneath her fingernails as she gently banged her head back against the window frame, clenching her teeth hard to prevent her so she from escaping. Her phone binged silently beside her and he gingerly picked it up, trying to avoid getting blood on the screen. 

_Betty? Are you there?_  
She sighed at the boy next doors text. 

_I'm here. Thanks, Arch._

It was all she had left in her before she truly broke down, sobs wracking her entire body, not knowing that the boy she loved, the boy she was so desperately trying to protect, was across the tracks covered in blood and bruises from his final trial. 

Betty would end this day more alone than ever, while Jughead had gained a new family. 

 

//

 

The telltale strains of the ringtone brought Betty out of her thoughts. She reached over and grabbed her phone, answering the call. She waited with bated breath for the voice she knew she would hear. 

“Is it done?” Her heart almost ripped open inside her chest as she thought of the events of that day. 

Another rip of her heart, a flashback to the time at Polly’s baby shower when things had been simpler when they had been happy. 

“Yes.” There a brief silence, then an abrupt, “Ask me your question.” 

“There's only one I care about now.” She surprised herself at how even her voice sounded, regardless of the fact that the tear tracks down her face hadn't even dried yet. 

“You want to know who I am.” Yes, Betty thought, so I can end this. She said nothing. The voice on the other end of the line continued. “Well, there's an abandoned house on the edge of Fox Forest, at the end of the service road. You'll find your answer there.” then the line went dead. Betty looked at her phone quickly making up her mind. 

No Archie this time. This had to be her and the Black Hood. No distractions, no outsiders. Just her and her demons. She grabbed her coat and ghosted out the door into the night. 

 

//

 

She was back at her home, it was probably close to three in the morning but she couldn't sleep. She was pouring over her notes about the Black Hood, hoping that she would make a new connection, see a new piece of information hiding between the lines. 

She couldn't get the image of Cheryl out of her head, shaking, wrapped in blankets and Josie's arms. Asking for Nick’s head on a silver platter. 

She couldn't forget the look Veronica had given her when she had spoken to her. The look of hurt, barely shadowed by anger. 

Betty sighed deeply, wondering what exactly she had earned from the Black Hood. Her visit to the abandoned house that night had proved to be more chilling than informative. She had done as he had asked. Gone alone, told no one. If he had wanted to kill her he could have. No one wouldn't have been the wiser. 

But instead, he played games with her, making her adorn a mask like his, telling her they were more similar than she believed. After she had left the house, she had quickly realized that the whole escapade was incredibly reckless. 

Her phone rang, the opening trills of the song that she had now come to fear above all else playing through the speaker. She answered, standing up immediately. 

She didn't hear his words so much as felt them to her very core. She tried not to play into his games, but then he threatened Polly, then her mother. 

She didn't even remember the words leaving her mouth, all she could think of was how to protect her family. Then he gave her an out. 

Their safety, for a name. 

Betty gasped, clutching at the hair. She couldn't make that decision. Couldn't play God and sentence someone to die. But then he was talking of Polly and her mom, of Jughead and Veronica. Of Archie, who had become a target of the Black Hood, no matter how hard she had tried. He was talking about taking them away from her. 

And as if it was dropped into her mind by no will of her own, a name came to Betty. She looked in the mirror and steeled herself. She spoke the words with certainty. 

“Nick St. Clare. He's staying at the Five Seasons.” She heard the voice in the line say something but she didn't pay it any attention. She had just condemned a man to die and she was afraid of the feeling of emptiness in her chest where there should have been remorse. 

Betty curled up on top of her covers, welcoming sleep, the only thing that could stop the living nightmare that she was existing in. 

 

//

 

Betty comes with a start a few hours later, cursing herself for falling asleep. The sun was starting to crest on the gloomy day. Betty knew now that her decision last night had been a moment of weakness. She shot out of bed, not even bothering to change out of her rumpled, slept-in clothes, foregoing her signature ponytail.

She rushed downstairs, cell phone in hand, rammed her feet unceremoniously into her boots and took off out the front door. 

She ran the whole way to the Five Seasons, only stopping when she got to Nick's door. It was slightly opened and she felt her heart hitch. 

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open, audibly gasping at the scene in front of her. 

Nick stood before her in a white bathrobe. His eyes were blackened and he looked stiff from his beating last night. 

Again, Betty could barely hear his words over her own relief, followed by confusion. She had given the Black Hood a name, and it wasn't that she was disappointed that Nick was still alive, but she wasn't sure what game the Black Hood was playing at now. 

 

//

 

Betty was at home when she got the text from Archie. 

_Meet me at the school. Need your help._

Her reply had been instant. These days he was her only person left, and she desperately clung to him. 

_What’s up?_

Archie took a few moments to respond like he always did. Betty found herself missing her conversations with Jughead, who replied with quick-witted retorts and never failed to make her smile. But that was a luxury that wasn't hers to have any more. 

_Mechanics stuff. Need a pro._

Betty smiled despite herself and sent off a quick reply. 

_Be there in a few._

She traded her cashmere pink sweater and jeans for a white tank top and overalls, tightening her ponytail before bounding down the stairs. Thankfully, her mother and father were both out and weren't around to question her leaving. 

She walked in the brisk fall air towards the school. They had a mechanics shop there and Betty had been given permission a long time ago by the Auto instructor to use the space whenever she wanted. She had quickly excelled through the mechanics curriculum, finishing the entirety of the course in one year instead of the usual four. 

It was the one extracurricular that her mother approved of, surprisingly. Although mechanics wasn't a job fit for a lady, as Alicia would say, her mother's feminism won out in the end. The elder blonde had claimed that Betty did need to rely on a man to change her tire or check her oil. 

She walked up the mechanics shop, seeing Reggie standing outside. She smiled at him briefly, coming to a stop beside him. 

“Care to tell me what I'm working on?” The black haired boy smiled down at her, white teeth flashing. 

“I need you to take a look at my car, she's doing a race in a couple days and she needs a tune up.” Betty eyed the smirk that had come to rest on his face. A race? There's was no race track around Riverdale, and even Reggie wasn't stupid enough to drag race around here. 

Reggie chuckled at the confused look on the young sleuths face as he watched her try to puzzle out what he meant. He jerked his head in the direction of the car and moved to walk inside. She followed silently. 

The car sat silently and she felt her anxiety seep away, if only momentarily. She had long been an admirer of Reggie's car. The car was a 1970’s Chevy Chevelle SS454, a one of a kind car that had enthusiasts like her father drooling when it passed through the streets. Betty would have been lying to herself if she said she was a little nervous to work on such a unique car. 

“Reggie, why don't you just take this into a real shop?” Betty questioned while ghosting her fingers over the boxy frame of the hood. 

Archie came out from the shadows and poke, causing her to startle. 

“We figured whoever did the work would ask why he wanted some tuning done, and we can't really risk that.” 

Betty stopped her fingers movements and quirked an eyebrow at the football player. “And what exactly are you tuning this masterpiece for?”

Both the boys looked at each other, seeming to have a silent conversation. It was obvious that Reggie wanted to tell her, but Archie was hesitating.

Then a voice came from the other side of the shop, silky and smooth but raspy like warm butter being spread of toast. 

“We need it for a race,” the voice echoed off the walls and Betty would see a shadow moving along the ground, the hood of the car blocking her view of the speaker, although she instantly knew who it was. 

The young boy's body came into view and Betty has to stop herself from audibly gasping. 

The crown beanie was perched on his head and he wore a standard S tee, with dark jeans. It wasn't these staples that caused such a feeling of shock. 

No, it was the black leather that rested on the boys’ shoulders. Dark and foreboding, Betty didn't need to see the back of the jacket to know that there was a snake insignia that could be found there, resting between his shoulder blades. 

She felt her fingernails dig into her palms, but saw his gaze flick down towards her hands. She didn't want him to know that she was still doing this. Still hurting herself, and that now it was because of him. She had already caused him enough pain, she didn't want to hurt him anymore. 

For a crazy moment, she thought about telling him everything, about the Black Hood and his threats, and Archie being forced into breaking up their relationship, but she couldn't. 

The ever-present and real danger that the Hood was watching sparked her into action. She had to make their breakup believable, even to Jughead, even to herself. She carried on towards him and looked down into the engine of the vehicle. 

“What are we fighting for?” She spoke quietly, only loud enough for the black haired boy beside her to hear. 

“I don't know, you tell me.” The words came out harshly, being spit from his mouth like poison. Betty turned her head, feeling herself getting lost in the deep blue expanse of ocean eyes in front of her. 

“I mean the race, Jug.” The boys’ eyes hardened even more, if that was possible. 

“Territory, we wagered the Whyte Wyrm and the trailer park in exchange for the Ghoulies to stop selling drugs in the Southside.” 

Betty nodded her understanding. Her heart saddened by the use of we. He was well and truly a Serpent now. She hated to think that he may have made that decision out of heartbreak. 

 

//

 

They had been at it for about three hours now, they mostly meaning Betty. All three boys had taken turns watching her work over her shoulder and occasionally handing her tools. She was just finishing up, putting the last few parts back into place. Reggie and Archie had gone outside to soak in some late fall sun, leaving Jughead alone with her. 

She knew that she had oil smeared across her face and she gently rubbed it with her wrist. 

“Could you pass me the crescent wrench?” she asked quietly. The boy in question turned away for a moment, his hand disappearing into the toolbox beside him. He pulled out a larger looking wrench and handed it to Betty. He turned his back to her once again.

“So is this what Serpents do for fun, huh? Street race rival gangs?” She winced at her tone. She hadn't meant to sound so judgemental, but her heart was aching at the sight of the boy in front of her.   
Jughead quickly turned to face her, eyes blazing. 

“Just go ahead and say it, Betty.” His fierce blue eyes pierced into her, and in that moment she felt nothing but regret for leaving him when he needed her the most. She heaved a gentle sigh and let his eyes pin her where she stood. 

“You said you weren't going to join them, Jug” he scoffed and rolled his eyes at her words, releasing her from her stillness that had felt under his gaze. 

He brought his hands down the rest on the edge of the car. “And you said you loved me. And then you dumped me, via Archie?” The last few words he spoke came out so angrily that Betty visibly winced at his tone. Her hands ducked quickly into the pockets of her overall, where he couldn't see her digging into her own flesh. “Which, by the way, way worse than via text.” 

She sighed again, trying to calm herself. Her fingernails dug a fraction of an inch deeper into her palm, not breaking the skin, but getting closer. 

She said the only thing she could think of. “I'm sorry, Jughead.” She hoped that he could hear the desperation in her voice. 

“I know it won't make any sense,” she continued, cursing her voice for beginning to crack, “but everything around us was imploding, and I did it to protect you.” She felt the sting of tears in her eyes, but refused to let them fall. 

The lanky boy sighed and straightened. “Betty, you did the one thing that could actually hurt me.” She watched as he turned from her, getting ready to walk away. 

At the sight of him leaving her nails finally broke through the skin of her tender palm, bring a wave of release that she both anticipated and feared.

“I will explain everything to you, Jug. I promise.” His unruly curls bounced as he shook his head, making to leave through the garage door. Without thinking she darted her hands out to grab his arm, temporarily holding him in place. 

“Right now I just want to get you through this race.” She pleaded, tears catching in the back of her throat. His eyes caught hers for a moment, before flicking down to her hands on his arm. He gasped quietly, and her eyes looked down to see what had upset him. There was a small amount of blood squishing up between her fingers, the contrast of the ruby red liquid dark against both of their pale skin. 

She withdrew her hands, only to see red streaks marking their way down his arms.

She stood a step back, raising her wrist to her mouth, trying to choke back sobs. 

“Betty…” He reached for her, but she pulled away. She couldn't get sucked into the expanse of his arms. She didn't know who could be watching. 

“I have to go.” And with that she took off towards the door that would take her back into the school, whipping it shut behind her. She knew she had no chance of outrunning him, that is, if he even came after her. But this was Jughead, of course, he would come after her. 

She raced down the hall, taking her first left, then a right. She heard the door to the shop open and slam shut. 

“Betty!” She whimpered at the sound of concern in his voice, all she wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms, to kiss his lips. 

Instead, she looked around quickly for a place to hide. She could hear his heavy footsteps racing towards her. 

Her eyes caught on a closet door, nestled just underneath the staircase leading the school's second floor. She ran over quickly and opened the door, tucked herself inside and shut it without a noise. 

Betty tucked herself into the back corner, partially hidden behind a supply shelf. She heard his footsteps echoing off the high ceilings, his pants of exertion deep and heavy. She placed her wrist over her mouth, trying to contain the song that we're now wracking her whole body. She listened for another moment and heard him curse quietly. 

“Shit.” His voice rang in the silence, and Betty listened with bated breath as he answered it, hoping it wouldn't be the Hood. 

“Yeah? Yeah, Arch, I'm still at the school. No. Betty and I kind of got into it and she ran off. No, I can't find her. Alright, I'm coming back, she was done anyways.” There was a pause. “Could you text her? Make sure she's alright? Yeah, I'll wait.” 

Betty's eyes widened in horror, knowing that her phone was on ringer. If Archie texted, Jughead would surely find her hiding spot. She reached into the deep pockets of her overall, pulling out her phone and flicking the sound button to silent. Not a moment later Archie texted her, but the phone lay silent in her hands. 

_You okay?_

She sighed a quiet sigh of relief. She answered quickly. 

i>Yeah, I just couldn't be around him anymore. It's too hard. 

She sent the text, hoping the words would appease Archie enough to convince Jughead to go back to the garage. She heard Jughead start to speak again on the phone. 

“She's alright? Ok, good. Did she say where she was? Okay. No, I'll come back. There were just a few more bolts to replace, and I watched her take them out. I can come put them back. Thanks, Arch.” She knew he had ended the call and would hopefully be returning to the shop soon. 

Jughead released a huge sigh. She heard footsteps move closer to the closet and for a moment she thought she might be found. The footsteps, however, stopped just shy of the closet door. His next words sent chills down her spine for a multitude of reasons. 

“I know you're close, Betty. You know you can't outrun me. I know you're hiding her somewhere. Just…” Betty's heart broke as she heard his voice crack, “promise me you'll stop hurting yourself. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was the reason you were doing that.” 

I can't promise that. She thought to herself and his footsteps retreated back to where he had come from. She rested her head against the supplies shelf, finally allowing her sobs to escape her mouth when she heard the shop door open and close once more. 

 

//

 

She had managed to leave the school unnoticed and had sent a quick text to Archie that she was going home. 

Once she got back to her house, still unoccupied as her parents were down at the Register for the day, she ascended the stairs and slowly walked into the bathroom. She peeled off the overalls, grimy with oil and car fluids. She reached into the shower and turned the tap to hot, taking out her ponytail as she allowed the water to warm up. She looked at herself in the mirror until the steam from the showered fogged her reflection. 

Stepping into the shower she let the scorching water beat into her skin, as if it were trying to melt away the presence of Jughead. She washed her hair slowly, reveling in the feeling of hot water in her thick hair. Her hands stung in the hot water, the open wounds burning at the sensation. 

She looked down at her hands and remembered the feeling that she had experienced earlier when her nails had broken through her skin. She had instantly felt calmer as if she had shown herself that she could be in control, if only through this one way. 

She flexed her fingers against her palm, slowly reopening the closed wounds that lay there. She felt the same rush as she saw blood pool under her fingernails. She dug them deeper, relishing the pain. 

She wanted more. Something to help her feel in control just as her world was spinning around her. 

Betty looked around the shower, her eyes finding what she was searching for. She grabbed the small, pink razor. It felt entirely too effeminate for the task she was about to commit. 

She pressed the head of the razor against the shower wall, feeling the cheap plastic give way under the pressure. She brought the broken mess carefully into her palm, the pieces falling apart. She took the broken plastic and extra three blades and dumped them unceremoniously into the sink, her hand snaking back into the shower, encompassed again in warmth. She held the last blade in between her fingertips, staring at the glinting metal. 

She took a deep breath and pressed the blade against the soft skin of her wrist, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to feel its presence. 

She took deep, ragged breaths. The gravity of what she was about to do weighed on her. She wasn't an idiot, she knew this wasn't right. She knew that if Jughead ever found out it would break his heart. 

She lowered the blade, knowing that she wouldn't be able to go through with it. She sat down in the shower, the water beating down on her relentlessly. 

She was weak. She couldn't beat the Hood. She couldn't keep Jughead safe. She couldn't even protect herself. The weight of the last few days pressed down on her, crushing her down into a black hole. 

Sobs again escaped her lips, but this time all she felt was anger. Anger that she wasn't in control, and it was in that need for control that she quickly twisted her left arm above her and touched the blade to the skin stop her ribs with her right hand. Without hesitating or leaving room to reconsider she dug the blade in gently, feeling the skin break beneath the metal. She drug the razor across the vulnerable skin, creating a bloody line about two inches long.

She sighed at the feeling of release and gently brought the blade back the rest just below the first line. She drew the metal again, and then once more. She rested her head against the shower wall, letting her right hand rest beside her. She breathed a sigh of relief, feeling calmer than she had in weeks. The feeling of calm lasted only a few moments before a feeling of panic set in, followed by the deep wallow of regret. She stood abruptly, feeling dizzy from the mix of her high and the steamy air. She placed the blade beside her shampoo and reached over to look at the marks on her skin. 

They were still weeping, the water of the shower turning the red color into a pink. She shut off the water and got out, wrapped her towel around herself gently. She wiped the mirror free of condensation with her hand and twisted to get a better look. The cuts were still bleeding, and they were deeper than she had intended for them to be. The third one was so deep it would gape open when she twisted. 

A thick wave of nausea rolled over her at the sight of her self mutilation. She quickly grabbed a bandage from behind the mirror, choosing a larger one that would go over all three cuts. She placed the bandage gingerly, slowly tracing her fingers along the edges to make sure it sealed. Already the blood was seeping through, dots fo the red life force poking through. 

Regret heaved through her and she fell to her knees beside the toilet, emptying what little food she had eaten that day into the bowl. Her body continued to convince even when her stomach was empty, the action causing the wound on her ribs to bleed even more. 

She sat back in her haunches and wiped her mouth with the back of her wrist, tears from the dry heaving and revulsion of her actions stinging her eyes.   
She moved to sit with her back against the door, tears silently flowing down her cheeks, wondering to herself when exactly she had become so broken.

 

//

 

The sun beat down on the group of Ghoulies, Serpents, and Riverdale High students simultaneously. There was alcohol flowing freely and Betty sat with her friends as she watched the two biker gangs roll into the lot. Her eyes couldn't stop going to Jughead. She loved the way his face looked, determined and ready for anything. He looked so different from the boy he had been when they had started dating. 

That boy had been broken, shattered as his life crumbled around him.

This person in front of her was a man, and he knew what he wanted, and he knew what his goals were. For now, at least. 

She heard the loud, abrasive voice of the biker Jughead had told her was Tall Boy ring out across the small crowd. She moved towards Reggie's car, leaving her friends to sit on the hood of Archie's truck. 

The wounds on her ribs still hurt, and it had taken hours for them to stop weeping. She had rebandaged them and had foregone a bra.today, knowing that the strap would only reopen the cuts. Instead, she had opted for a white spaghetti strap top, paired with black high waisted jeans. As a last minute decision, she had taken a red bandana and tied it around her head, remembering how Toni always had dressed. She wanted to fit in. Even if she wasn't apart of Jughead's world right now, she wanted to look the part. 

She came to stand beside the leather-clad teen and again was shocked by the amount of hurt that was reflected in his eyes. She watched at his gaze flickered down to her hands, probably remembering the events of yesterday. Then she saw him shake his head gently and bring his eyes back up to hers, questioning. 

“Before you get in the car, I need you to know…” Her eyes swept over his face and he came to stand in front of her. She took in his broken lip and bruised eye. Courtesy of running the gauntlet, Archie had told her. “I never stopped loving you, Jug. I'm not sure I can.” The look of hurt in her eyes caused her to.immediately regret the admission. She switched the topic. 

“Also, don't ride the clutch and don't let it slip between gears shifts, okay?” She saw almost a ghost of a smile, but it quickly disappeared as Jughead shook his head slightly. 

“You're an enigma, Cooper.” He pushed passed her lightly, leaving her to stand at the front of the car by herself. She turned away from him, walking back to stand beside Kevin. 

She watched as Jughead and Archie climbed into the Chevelle, both closing their doors with a slam. The events unfolded in front of her as though she were watching it on a screen. Nothing felt real, everything about the situation was wrong. 

She deftly watched as Cheryl slipped off the hood of the truck and walked to stand just in front of the two vehicles. Betty saw but didn't hear the words Cheryl exchanged with Toni, causing the pink haired girl to throw up her small hands in surrender. 

Cheryl raised her hands, holding the red handkerchief in one. Everything slowed down at that moment. Betty watched as Cheryl dropped her hands, her eyes glanced at Jughead and she was surprised to   
see him staring at her too, a smile of all things present on his face. 

The Rev of the engines brought Betty back to herself. She watched as Jughead and Archie tore away down the road, turning with the bend and disappearing into the forest. 

It was only a few short minutes later when she heard the telltale sound of brakes squealing. Her heart clenched, hoping that the boys were okay. Everyone around them waited with bated breath. Then, to her relief, she heard the Chevelle's engine rumbling back towards them. 

It was only when she heard a young Serpent boy speak that she knew something was wrong. 

“Everyone scatter! The cops are rounding up Ghoulies!”

The crowd erupted into the movement as Jughead and Archie raced towards the finish line, screeching to a halt beside Archie's truck. The two boys got out, and Betty could tell from the way Jughead was advancing on Archie that something bad had happened. 

Betty couldn't hear the whole conversation. She only saw Jughead and the Serpent he had told her was Tall Boy, arguing. They were yelling but it was all lost to her in the pandemonium. She saw Archie approach Jughead and place a hand on his shoulder. 

She still couldn't hear them but she saw the words leave Archie's mouth. 

“I called them. It was my idea.”

The look of hurt and betrayal that crossed Jughead's face knocked the wind out of her. She could see know that these people really were his family, and Archie had betrayed them all. 

She snapped back into the conversation in time to see Jughead shove Archie back with his hand, sending the taller boy stumbling backward. She watched as Jughead rounded to get back into the Chevelle, ripping open the driver's door.

Without thinking she moved to the passenger door and opened it, lowering herself down into the seat. She caught Archie's eye just as she was shutting the door. He looked so lost in the moment. 

She knew that Archie had good intentions, knew that he would never intentionally hurt his best friend, but sometimes she couldn't help but think that it would be better if he just minded his own business. 

She shut the door and grabbed her seat belt, throwing the safety harness quickly over her shoulder. She barely had it clicked into place before Jughead was tearing off down the road, leaving their friends to fend for themselves. 

 

//

 

The landscape whipped by them as Jughead raced along the road. She watched as trees blurred around them and felt the tell-tale signs of an anxiety attack creeping up on her. She dug her nails into her palms hard, immediately breaking the skin. However, this time, it didn't bring the sweet feeling of release. She still felt so out of control. She tried to take deep breaths, but they got caught in her throat. 

“Jug, you need to pull over.” Her words came out as barely a whisper but she knew he had heard her. He shook his head slightly. 

“Jug, please. I need some air.” He spared a glance at her, his eyes burning. 

“Betty we can't. We have to get as far away from there as possible. I am not letting you be drug into this.” She couldn't hear anymore. The sound of the engine overwhelming her senses, the squeeze of her stomach letting her know what was coming next. 

“Jug! Pull over! NOW!” The last word came out almost as a screech, and her hand flew to his on the gear shift, digging into his soft flesh. She stared at him pleadingly and saw that he now recognized the anxiety creeping across her face. 

Her body slammed forward as he smashed his foot into the brake, twisting the tires to guide them into the upcoming approach. 

Before the car even came to a full stop she had unbuckled herself and was bounding out of the car, heading towards the trees just to her right. She grabbed the first one she came to and emptied the barren contents of her stomach. Her head spun from the convulsions and the heat surrounded her, pressing in on all sides, suffocating her. 

She hadn't even heard him approach when she felt his hand on her back, rubbing small circles into the skin there. She gulped down gasps of air, letting herself calm down. She turned away from his hands and rested her back on the tree, wincing as she felt the deep throb in her ribs. 

Her hands came up to wipe the sweat from her forehead, but he grabbed her wrists before they made it to their destination. He brought them down again and turned her hands over. She heard rather than saw his small intake of breath at the sight of her hands. They were much more mangled than yesterday, she knew. He brought a finger up to her chin, forcing her to look up at him. 

“Please,” he whispered, his voice as quiet and soothing as the breeze, “tell me what is going on.” 

She refused to meet his gaze, staring off just above his shoulder. “You've seen them before, Jughead. Did you think I would magically stop just becuase you kissed them better once?” Even she was surprised by the coldness of her voice. 

He scoffed gently and she finally looked at his face. She saw his blue eyes boring into hers. “I think this is a little more than run-of-the-mill anxiety. It's never been this bad before.” He reached his remaining hand to her side, letting go of her wrist and placing it against the tree. He removed his other hand from her face, setting his palm against the rough bark. She felt truly trapped.

His smell surrounded her and she felt his warm breath on her face. Her body sighed without her permission and she sunk against the tree. When she moved, however, his arm by her side had brushed her wound, causing her to wince and gasp at the pain. 

His eyes widened and he took a half step back. His eyes immediately found her side and he looked as though his heart had stopped. His hand gently brushed her side. 

“Betty, what happened?” She paused for a moment, not knowing what he was talking about. At her quizzical look, he brought his fingers up so she could see them. They were coated with a thick, red substance. 

She gasped and immediately her hand flew to cover up the wound, her own hands feeling the sticky warmth beneath her shirt. The wound must have broken open again with her heaving. 

“Are you hurt? Here, let me see.” He moved to brush her hand aside but she sidestepped him. She knew exactly what he would find, and she didn't want him to see it. 

“It’s fine, Juggie. Really. It's probably just a scratch.” She felt herself giggle a little, something that didn't go unnoticed by the black haired boy. 

“Betty that is more than just a scratch. Just let me…” 

“I said no, Forsythe.” Jughead snapped his face up to meet hers at the utterance of his name. He cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing, mouth opening slightly. Betty hated using his given name, but she had hoped that it would shock him enough to give her some time to compose herself. She was wrong.

The next second, Jughead was grabbing her hand the covered her ribs and pulling it aside, pushing up her shirt gently with the other hand. His eyes narrowed even more as his gaze encountered the bandage waiting there for him. His gaze flicked up to hers, but Betty could see through the tears that had begun to leak down her cheeks. 

She felt his nimble fingers grab the bandage and gently prise it off. She gasped as the cool breeze touched the cuts. She felt his fingers gently circle the skin around the wound and saw his head bring his face up to meet hers. 

“Betty? What is this?” She sobbed at the fear in his voice, feeling herself break apart at the seams. She brought her hands up to cover her face, not wanting the boy in front of her to see her falling apart.   
His voice cut through her sobs like a knife. “Did you do this to yourself?” 

She nodded her head and choked on her tears, still covering her face. His hands reached up to hers, letting go of her shirt, which settled back down across her abdomen. He peeled her hands away from her face. 

“Look at me.” She couldn't deny him, the tone of his voice not leaving room for disobedience. 

She turned her gaze upwards towards him and met his steely blue eyes. 

“When did this happen?” he demanded. 

“Last night,” she admitted. 

“Why?” It was only one word but it held so much emotion that Betty dropped her gaze once again. 

“I wanted,” she took a shuddering breath, “I wanted to feel in control of something. For once. I always feel so out of control. I just… I wanted to be the one to make a decision.” 

“Well you decided to break up with me, I'd say that counts as a decision you made.” His words weren't laced with malice, just a statement of what he thought was true. 

_You are so wrong._ Betty thought to herself. 

“I didn't make that decision,” Betty whispered quietly before she could stop herself. 

He couldn't stop the scoff that came next. “Well, who did then? Archie? Alice?” She shook her head, not wanting to continue. She had already said too much. 

“Who was it then, Betty? Who could possible scare Betty Cooper into doing something she didn't want to do? You don't even let your mom scare you and she can be quite convincing. So who the hell is scaring you!” His words ended echoing off the trees, his voice raised louder than he had intended. 

Betty slumped against the tree. She was tired. Tired of lying. Tired of fighting alone. Tired of seeing Jughead hurt. 

“It was _him_.” She placed an emphasis on the last word, hoping Jug could piece together who she was talking about she was tired of being alone, but still too scared to admit who had been terrorizing her out loud. 

“Who's him?” Jughead repeated. He paused for a moment then it dawned on him. His eyes found Betty's and it looked as if all the color had drained out of his face. 

“Was it…? Is it…?” He didn't seem like he could bring himself to say it. Finally, he found his voice and courage all at once. “The Black Hood,” he said with finality.   
Betty nodded her head once, feeling an enormous weight off her shoulders. 

“How?” he asked. 

“He knows where Polly is, Jug. He's been calling me ever since that night at the hall. He threatened Polly, told me to stop being friends with Veronica. And then a few nights ago, he told me….” Her voice cracked and she couldn't continue. Jughead was smart though and pieced together the rest. 

“He threatened you, didn't he. He told you to break up with me or else you'd get hurt?” Betty smiled at the conclusion as if she would hold her own safety above Jughead. She shook her head. 

“He threatened you. He said he would kill you if I didn't leave you.” She took another shattered breath and looked into his eyes then. The pain she saw reflected there made her heart almost break in two. 

“Oh,” Jughead breathed the word, “Betts, I…” 

“There was no way you could have known Jughead. That's why I didn't come and end it myself. I knew you wouldn't let go easily, and I couldn't stand the idea of lying to you.” Jughead nodded his head slightly, bring his hand the rest against Betty's cheek. She sank into his touch, enjoying the warmth of his fingers in the shade of the trees. 

Without a word, Jughead brought his lips down to gently rest on hers. She marveled at how well their mouths fit together. She sighed into his mouth and he swallowed her breath, bring himself deeper into the kiss. Her own hands traveled up towards his face, and she briefly paused at the thought of her blood on her hands. 

Jughead simply grabbed her hands and entwined them around his neck, moving both of his own hands back to her face. She stretched up to him and winced slightly at the pull of her cuts. 

He broke away from her and pushed the fabric back up to observe her skin. 

“I never want you to do this again. Promise me,” he demanded of her. She nodded her head silently, filled with shame by her actions. 

He seemed to notice and he once again lifted her face to meet his gaze. 

“It's nothing to be ashamed of, Betts. We all have demons to conquer.” At the mention of demons, she saw the leather-clad boys face darken. She wondered briefly what demons he had incurred during their short break. 

“What I mean is, if you ever feel out of control again, you call me. And I will help you. I will always be there for you.” She looked deeply into his eyes and knew what he said to be true. 

And in that moment, they both forgot about the Black Hood and their murder mystery. They forgot about the Serpents and the Ghoulies, and the civil war that was about to tear their town apart. In that moment, they were just two teenagers, struggling to make things work and to hold on to each other as best as they could.


End file.
